Читать Insane! A daring comedy for 1 person. Monopies

Attention! ALL COPYRIGHTS TO THE PLAY ARE PROTECTED BY THE LAWS OF RUSSIA, INTERNATIONAL LEGISLATION, AND BELONG TO THE AUTHOR. ITS PUBLICATION AND REPUBLICATION, REPRODUCTION, PUBLIC PERFORMANCE, TRANSLATION INTO FOREIGN LANGUAGES, MAKING CHANGES TO THE TEXT OF THE PLAY WHEN STAGED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR IS PROHIBITED. THE PRODUCTION OF THE PLAY IS POSSIBLE ONLY AFTER THE CONCLUSION OF A DIRECT CONTRACT BETWEEN THE AUTHOR AND THE THEATER.

Monopies. One female role

A one-act play.

(18+)

An explanatory note for the director is attached at the end of the play.

THE CHARACTERS OF

Lera.

Silence. Darkness. Dishes break with a clang and a crash.

Male voice (outraged cry). Lera, calm down! What makes you think I have someone?

Lera (loudly, violently). What makes me think that?

Again the fight of dishes.

Male voice (outraged cry). You fool! Now you're going to smash everything, what are you going to eat and drink from later?

Lera (loudly, furiously). Found something to take care of!

Again the fight of dishes.

Male voice (indignant cry of an attempt to dodge). Hey!

Again the fight of dishes.

Male voice (outraged cry). And if he hadn't dodged? Do you even think what you're doing? You invent all sorts of nonsense in your head, then you believe in it yourself and you snap at others. That's why all the men are running away from you. You're crazy! Specifically, it's crazy!

Lera (loudly, violently). Oh, so!

Again the clash of dishes, the ringing blows of slaps are heard. Sonorous spitting.

Lera (loudly, furiously). Here you are, parasite, here you are! Don't let me see you here anymore! (Interrupts herself.) No need to explain to me what kind of girl she is, at two o'clock in the morning she sends SMS after SMS, are you holding me for a fool? For God's sake! I've already packed your things, GET OUT!

Stomping, sounds of fighting, falling shelves, hangers. A loud slam of the door.

The light turns on smoothly.

A pretty battered Lera enters with a personalized mug in her hand (her hand is shaking – nerves), sipping seagulls.

Lera (surprised at herself). Heh…, there is still gunpowder in the flasks… Vitek is not a timid fellow, but she could still put him out the door. (Proudly addresses the viewer). Have you heard what pretty slaps were slapped! (Looks down at the floor, sniffs). To me.

He rubs his cheeks with his hand, pulls his lips, opens his mouth, pulls his jaw.

Lera (calmly). But nothing, he beats, so he loves. (Winks at the viewer, slightly flirts with someone from the audience, makes eyes). And how not to love me? (To the viewer, demonstrating himself). Here, take a look. Here, here, here… Everything is with me, everything is in place, everything is as it should be. So? No? Well, how not to love, tell me? In any case, he loves. Only here, what the hell are the young ladies writing to him there at night, that's interesting. I'm sorry we make noise at night. An apartment building is such a thing, you know. No personal life. Everything is heard and in front of the neighbors. You've been through enough, haven't you?

He looks sympathetically into the hall.

Lera (excusing herself to the viewer). Do you think I haven't suffered enough? Well, tell me, how to live with the current man? It's not life, it's a continuous torment! That means he will come at the wrong time, then, even worse, on time, even though he promised to stay late. He's messing with my brains as he wants! I just tune in to one thing – he slips me another. He gives me forget-me-nots, or these stinky lilies. Yesterday I brought roses! And maybe I didn't want roses yesterday, I just wanted smelly lilies yesterday! Well, you don't know, so ask! What is the problem? Which one of us is a man? Who should pamper and please whom?