ATТENTION! ALL COPYRIGHTS TO THE PLAY ARE PROTECTED BY THE LAWS OF RUSSIA, INTERNATIONAL LEGISLATION, AND BELONG TO THE AUTHOR. ITS PUBLICATION AND REPUBLICATION, REPRODUCTION, PUBLIC PERFORMANCE, TRANSLATION INTO FOREIGN LANGUAGES, MAKING CHANGES TO THE TEXT OF THE PLAY WHEN STAGED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR IS PROHIBITED. THE PRODUCTION OF THE PLAY IS POSSIBLE ONLY AFTER THE CONCLUSION OF A DIRECT CONTRACT BETWEEN THE AUTHOR AND THE THEATER.
A comedy for five people in two acts.
Duration: 1 hour and 30 minutes.
ACTORS
YAKOV is not the happiest husband;
AURORA MOISEEVNA – Yakov's mother;
SUSANNA is not the happiest wife;
VALENTINE is a lucky man, his life was a success;
ALLA is a curvy beauty, the wife of Valentine.
ACT ONE
Dynamic music is playing.
The music stops, the shouts of a man and a woman break into it, swearing.
SUSANNA (Susanna's voice, a nervous cry): Have you completely stopped understanding words? So it is necessary to be able to succeed in degradation! What's complicated? I asked to take a queue at the checkout! And so we are late, we have lost another ten minutes.
YAKOV (Yakov's voice, a nervous cry): To degrade, my dear, is a natural process, with such a wife. I have no other prospects a priori, and I have not had any since the very happy day when I married you.
Yakov and Susanna enter the stage with a quick, nervous step. They are dressed relatively simply, gray, inconspicuous. This style of clothing and overall appearance will be preserved until the last scene. Yakov carries in his hand a package with gifts for his mother's birthday.
SUSANNA (indignantly): So stop.
They stop. Susanna puts her hands on her hips.
SUSANNA (indignantly): Come on, in more detail!
Yakov tries to soften the situation, changes the subject.
YAKOV (justifying himself): And about the cash register – it's not my fault. I took my turn and defended it. I missed it once, twice, and you're still not there. So I made room. As long as you can look out. And anyway – if you were going faster, no one would be late anywhere! Go, Susanna, go!!! In five minutes, everyone will be sitting down at the table, and we are still here.
Yakov grabs Susanna by the hand, but she resists, pushes Yakov's hand away.
SUSANNA (indignantly): So I have to get ready quickly? So go and celebrate your mother's birthday yourself, since you are so fast! I've never been welcome there anyway, and they never will be. Aurora Moiseevna does not consider anyone else in this world as people except you. But my beloved son Yashenka is always there for the court. In any condition and no matter what he did. Go ahead, you're late!
Susanna turns around and goes in the other direction.
Yakov catches up with her, grabs her hand and tries to stop her.
YAKOV (justifying himself): Oh, come on! What are you inventing? Come on, they're waiting for us!
A skirmish. Yakov pulls Susanna, who resists. The case is not moving in any direction.
On the other side of the stage, a couple Valentin and Alla come out arm in arm in complete idyll. They notice familiar faces. Valentine calls out to his old friend.
VALENTIN (to Yakov): Yashka! What are you doing?
Yakov turns around, Susanna improves the moment, gently nods to Valentin and Alla and quickly leaves the stage.