“You still could not resist. You should not have called him, because you know what he wants. Get over the need to completely change your life. THERE IS NO WAY BACK ALREADY…”– Gods see, I can no longer read their books! They scare me! I’ll put them on the fares shelf and won’t touch anymore!
We came back to the castle, and I continue my sad chronicle of events …
Tol and Esa are rowing all the time, others try not to pay attention to them, but sometimes they start screaming so loudly that there is simply no strength to listen to these endless cries. They shut up only when Arel is near. But he is less and less likely to leave his rooms …
It's sad to look at him, he is completely passed.
It seems to me he doesn’t eat or drink at all, just pricking…
Carina had thrown him again and went to Upper…
I’ve faced her when she was living and she was determined.
“Buy, Vil’, – she said, – “I don’t know if we ever met again, maybe somewhere behind the walls of this castle. I’m living! I can’t help Arel. I can’t and I don’t want to. I won’t even try to help him – it’s hopeless and ungrateful work. Let him do whatever he wants! I’m sorry, Vil, don’t you think that I left him in a hard time, however… maybe it is
what it is. Well, alright! I have no shame, I need to think about myself… I don’t know how could I help him! How to help, if he doesn’t want this help! Do you know?”
I shook my head sadly…
“Than you have nothing to do here too,” – she said, – ‘Leave until they didn’t ask you again to do something vile!’
I answered:
‘Carina, I can’t! If I leave the castle, who will take care after people? About poor people living in this castle. Arel’s steward is a real sadist, he’s been serving here since dad was alive and the way he behaves with slaves…”
She looked at me so strangely, with surprise, that I blushed.
“Now, when Arel is out of business, I suppose I could change some rules…’
‘Good luck!’ – she threw, – “And… If you need something… My help…’
“Thank you, Carina! Gods bless you!’
She didn’t hear out. She didn’t say something more. She just left. And what about Arel he seemed not to be very upset. Moreover, during the dinner ignoring the food he said arrogantly: “She’ll back! She has nowhere to go!’
At that moment I wanted to punch his stupid head!
Of course, I don’t think Carina is a beautiful and innocent angel… After all I’ve known about her… I was so naïve and stupid! But still… Despite all that awful things she’d done…
She did it to save her life… And that justify her a little big in my eyes… but maybe more honestly… She yielded to the temptation… I could forgive her everything! And Arel must be happy that such a girl is beside! He must carry her in his arms…
No! I don’t want any more to write about them…
Enriki intermeddles in my business… Only the one should answer for the men! Enriki seems to be having more fun commanding them that actually doing them any good.
I’ve tolked about that with Arel.
“What kind of people’ – he asked.
I was always amazed at his ability to see no one around him! He lives in the world, where there are only Nikto, Lis, Enriki, Toland Sguint-Eye.
That’s all!
I reminded him that the refugees are trying to live in the streets ruined by Black Bay, and this is not easy in the circs of winter and epidemics!